A simple bedtime routine

Children fall asleep more easily when the same few things happen in the same order every night. The order itself becomes a signal: the body learns that after the bath and the story comes sleep. A routine does not need to be long or fancy. Twenty to thirty minutes, done the same way most nights, is enough. This page gives general guidance for healthy children; if your child has ongoing trouble sleeping, snores heavily or seems tired all day, talk to your child's doctor.

A routine in six steps

A warning. Ten minutes before the routine starts, say so: "After this game, it is bedtime." Children resist less when the end of play is not a surprise.
Screens off. Television, phones and tablets go off before the routine begins. Bright, fast pictures wake the mind up.
Wash and change. Toilet, teeth, hands and face, night clothes. In hot weather, a quick wash of the feet with cool water is a pleasant signal that the day is over.
A quiet drink of water, and the last "needs". Deal with thirst, the favourite toy and the extra pillow now, so that they cannot be used later to delay.
The story. In bed, lights low. One story, or two short ones, agreed in advance. Choose one here.
Goodnight and lights out. The same few words every night, a hug, and you leave. A set of words to borrow is on the goodnight lines page.

What matters most

The same time. Try to keep bedtime within about half an hour of the same time each night, on school days and holidays.
The same order. The steps matter more than the clock. Even when you are late, do a short version of every step.
A calm adult. Children borrow their mood from yours. Speak a little lower and slower than usual from the first step onwards.
A dim room. Use a small lamp for the story instead of the tube light.

In a joint family or a shared room

Many Indian homes do not have a separate, silent room for the child, and none is needed. If the television is on in the next room, ask for the sound to be turned down for half an hour. If the child sleeps in the parents' or grandparents' room, the routine still works: the wash, the story and the goodnight words are what the child's body notices. A grandparent can own the story step. Children often settle faster for a grandmother than for a tired parent.

When dinner is late

In many families dinner is at nine or later, and a young child is asleep before it. That is fine. Give the child an earlier, lighter meal, and keep the routine at the child's time, not the family's. A very full stomach or a sweet just before bed makes settling harder.

Starting a routine where there was none

Begin with only two steps, the wash and the story, and do them at the same time for a week. Add the rest later. Tell the child the plan in the daytime, and draw the steps on a sheet of paper as small pictures: a tap, a toothbrush, a book, a moon. Children love to point at the next picture, and the chart, not you, becomes the one who says it is bedtime.

Give it two weeks

A new routine usually meets a few nights of protest. Stay kind and stay the same. Most families see a change within one or two weeks. If nothing improves after a month of steady effort, or your child seems unwell, it is worth a conversation with a doctor.